Wrote twelve pages of class notes on a magic webscroll by mystic twitchlight. Krusher brought peppy.

The plans for stream were abandoned, pushed back 1 more day while Crafty fussed about a big of holding for the long journey ahead.
"Did I pack all my underpants.. and will that be enough?" she wondered to herself.

Betweem pincurls and private investigators, the world seems to be a thousand shades of grey today

Crafty came out with no serious wounds after her battle with the butcher (Doctor).
She's currently resting and has been transferred to a room for monitoring over the next few days.

Crafty has had an abundance of fluids - but complained loudly about the inability to obtain pepsi at this time.
She did want me to note that she'd drunk more than 2L of water as well as having at least another litre of saline.. :D

This morning she managed to secure a strawberry milk from a friendly nurse, and was even allowed to sit up in a chair (a real regular person chair!). She’s also very excited to advise that her window overlooks a park where she can see dogs.

Cast a level 1 pass-wind spell
Dungeon extended 1 day
Passed the 3-pee trials (rolled 2 NAT 20s and skipped the 3rd test)
Fought and defeated the shower monster (it was a mirror image of crafty, only stinky!)
Got restricted to 1 cup of water per hour due to overhydrating (we are all shocked)
Expecting to fight the final boss tomorrow and be free of the hospidungeon
Saw 4 dogs
“Multiple people have said my room smells really good - maybe they installed the opposite of what farts are?”

Crafty has passed all her rolls and will be allowed to escape the butchers lair. (She's leaving the hospital)

The Crafty was released into my custody around lunch time today and placed promptly in her regular rest chamber.
Magical barriers have been erected to prevent the Daisy familiar from attempting to leap upon stomachs.
Krusher has also been blessed with a set of garments of healing (scrubs) with which he will attempt to keep the patient in-line!

Adventurer Jammie (Crafty's sister) has trekked across the land (walked from her house a few blocks away) to bring camp supplies loaded with magical healing ingredients (she hid veggies in the bolognese sauce).
Crafty has also stated at this time: "I have been reunited with my stash of frigid healing draughts!" (she's near the pepsi-max fridge)

The road has been long, but the party's provisions have carried Crafty through the worst of the storm.
Every artifact, potion, and trinket you brave souls sent has earned its place in her pack.
Small victories, the lot of them but victories all the same, and none of them won alone.

Thank you for arming this voyage so well and allowing the patient to enjoy small blessings.

Now it's a very many days for the patient to lie on her back and try and take it easy.. restrained if need be :)

For the first time this campaign, Crafty remained awake through the entire day.
A full sun-cycle, no slumber claiming me, no nap-spell breaking my watch. "An all-dayer" pulled and held to the very end.

Side-Lying stance has been unlocked. The hero can now rest on her flank with only minimal pain. A quiet but hard-won lift after days pinned supine by the butchers woundings.

Tribute arrived at camp in good supply today. The hero received a fresh bouquet, applied immediately as a cosmetic skin to her chamber — no stat bonus, purely for the vibes (and yes, I'm logging it this time, since an unnamed scribe omitted it last entry). Alongside it: a coffer of assorted lollies and a box of macarons, both filed under Consumables, both already under raid by Crafty.

The familiars continue to conduct themselves with rare honour. George and Daisy held their assigned pillow-stations with admirable discipline, mounting only brief sorties toward the summit of the bed in hopes of lying directly on their charge. Daisy in particular failed a Perception check overnight: convinced she had at last claimed her cuddle, she slept soundly atop the bolster wedged between the hero's legs, blissfully unaware she was nowhere near her. The illusion held all night and sated her Cuddle Compulsion completely. If you see Daisy.. don't tell her.

The campaign turned in the back half of the day, and I'll log it honestly. A downturn set in; uncomfortable, unable to settle and it dragged her back to the plain truth of the quest: she is, frustratingly "a regular mortal" recovering from surgery, not a hero speedrunning a recovery arc. By her own gracious admission she was glad, in hindsight, that I hadn't let her near my rations either. She is now barricaded within a fortress of every pillow she owns plus those gifted by the party via the magical portal of 'Throne', the axolotl familiar deployed for comfort, Fringe (great TV show btw) on the screen, declaring at regular intervals that it is not fair she isn't better yet, that she is "over this shit," and that she "doesn't want to do it anymore."

I hereby commit these notes to the log and set out to complete my nights watch.

The hero attempted a Deception check to win the right to prepare her own midday meal. Denied instantly upon ground of ridiculousness no roll even permitted to land. I countered by casting Cucumber Sandwiches of Continued Rest, delivering the meal she was actually craving.

Extremely effective: it satisfied the craving, lulled her back beneath the covers, and she napped on top of it. Textbook.

A confession to open today's log, lest the record show me as a flawless caretaker: after my last entry, Crafty staged a daring escape from her Lower Limb Binders of Blood Consistency (compression socks) decreed by the healers to ward off clots. She assured her attending nurse, with the practiced sincerity of a level 20 rogue, that she would "put them right back on after a little bit."

She did not.

Instead, the crafty creature deployed a perfectly aimed Befuddlement Charm upon yours truly, and I her sworn carer, clean forgot to enforce the re-donning, rolling a critical failure on my Wisdom save. Fortunately however, her conscience rolled higher than her cunning, and she willingly re-equipped the binders herself. With minimal complaints! (Editors note: It was a lot of complaint).

But the socks are on, and that is what the log shall remember.

In far more triumphant news: a major milestone in the "Return to Health" questline! Today Crafty performed an honest-to-goodness ACTIVITY. Rather than her usual daily quest string of lying/sitting in bed watching Fringe (great TV show btw), she took up the noble art of crossstitch; still in bed, still shuffling position for comfort, still very much accompanied by Fringe, but crafting. As a Crafty one does.

The endeavour was not without cost. An Exhaustion (Lv. 1) debuff promptly attached itself, requiring an afternoon nap to dispel. But the trade was deemed well worth it: she emerged with the much-coveted "Not As Bored" and "Maybe I Can Tolerate This A Bit Longer" buffs, both of which fortify the all-important Mental Resolve stat (+2 WIS).

To consolidate the days morale gains, Crafty ruled that both patient and devoted carer had earned a treat.

Her decree: KFC (coincidentally the Captain's favourite junk-food provision) in place of the (genuinely delicious, suspiciously vegetable-laden) rations supplied by Jammie the Quartermaster a few days earlier.

A sound tactical call. Buffs must be maintained. Morale before macros.

Onward to tomorrow. The binders stay on this time!

Patient 0 (that is, 0 uterus : 1 Crafty) has been successfully tucked and administered one ration of Fresh Hot Sugary Leaf Juice (Tea). Subject remains stable, mildly horizontal, and is expected to stay that way until the morn (or until the curtains betray her to the sun, whichever strikes first).

No further quests to be accepted before sunrise. The party rests.

"I am hydrated, but finally not with water! I had three Pepsis today… nature is healing!"

Today the party petitioned for, and was reluctantly granted, an expedition of historic significance: Crafty was permitted downstairs. She was escorted with the gravity of a fragile artefact, clutching the 'Pillow of Uterine Excision and Functional Organ Rearrangement' for support and installed in a fortified position with the 'Plush Hills of Inclined Rest' to ward off any sudden movement. Under the unbroken supervision of Krusher and Cinder, she was allowed dinner and exactly one (1) episode of the new season of Vox Machina before being marched back upstairs, lest the taste of freedom go to her head. It did. We were not quick enough. She would later flaunt the consequences of this oversight.

Emboldened, Crafty embarked on a second activity - allegedly, a perfectly bed-bound, Fringe-watching, entirely-safe pursuit (oooooo, foreshadowing noises here). Left briefly unsupervised with her Deck of Many Dopamines (Steamdeck) she chose this moment to land two achievements in Megabonk that had eluded her across many months. Rather than celebrate from the safe confines of her bed like a sensible convalescent, the unruly minx leapt up, sprinted to The Stinky Boy Den (Cinder and my office), and announced her victories while - it almost beggars belief - jumping from one foot to the other. Immediate banishment to bed followed, accompanied by a stern joint address from Krusher and Cinder and the confiscation of the Deck of Many Dopamines, to be returned only under full supervisory conditions and stocked exclusively with calming, sedate titles. There will be no bonking in Crafty's immediate future.

Feeling thoroughly (and undeservedly) self-righteous after the Bonking incident, Crafty resolved today to prove herself far along in her healing and worthy of greater freedoms by forgoing the Slow-Release-Greater-Pain-Potions entirely, relying on the common over-the-counter draughts alone.

She was humbled with impressive speed - by midday she had conceded, accepted the Slow-Release-Greater-Pain-Potions dispensed by the butcher's minions, applied the warming pouches, and retreated into a nap; her ambitions, like her pain threshold, vastly overstated.

The innocent and trusting Captain Krusher has fallen afoul of a most masterful sleeping draft! He slumbers noisily and peacefully! I have taken control! My time is now! I reign unopposed! I can go downstairs at will! I could even escape the very confines of the abode and abscond into the night in persuit of sticks! Many a message has taunted me with the thoughts of the abundance of wonderful sticks out there, just waiting for me to collect them! It is autumn…the best time for stick collecting! And the leaves! Oh, the piles and swathes of leaves that cover our streets! So perfect for frolicking in! But they have been denied to me…kept from my reach! But no more! No guard at the gate to stop me, no caring but strict warden! There is no-one to stop me!

Cinder is still awake…not as unguarded as I had thought.

Ok ok I had a day off - the patient is still alive, and impatient.

Filed late, and under protest, by the management.

A confession for the record before we begin: the log went dark for a cycle. Not, as the whispers in the discord of chaos would have it, because the Captain abandoned his post - but because the Captain's eyelids staged their own quiet mutiny while he was, ahem, resting his eyes. Rumors of my falling asleep on the job have been accurately exaggerated.

In my absence, command was… seized.

I awoke yester' morning to find the log had already been updated. By the patient. The mutinous patient. There she was, quill in hand, grippy socks firmly planted, having documented her own affairs with the smug efficiency of someone who knows the Captain can't dock her rations. A coup, conducted entirely from the recovery cot. I have noted it for the official record. I have also elected not to contest it, on the grounds that her version was - infuriatingly.. accurate.

So allow me to bring the ledger up to where the insurgent left off:

Galley & Provisions:
There came a now-legendary supply request: tea, and a bowl of Greek yoghurt. A reasonable order, which I fulfilled to the letter: Tea, served in a bowl of Greek yoghurt.. Separately, with the Captain snowed under in the work mines on Friday, the midday meal was self-provisioned from emergency stores held in the Cube of Colding [the new fridge] which had been stocked for precisely such a siege.

Recreation & Morale:
Supervised expeditions into Winter Burrow (cute steam game btw) were undertaken and survived. On Saturday the Captain and Crafty joined The Canopy's game night for a four-hour ascent of the Spire (Slay the Spire) with The Buck of McDancer clan, only to be eventually defeated not by the Spire, but by the ancient and undefeated enemy known only as Nap-thyme.

Notable Incidents:
A daring prison break was staged from the recovery quarters executed with full grippy-sock traction and every pillow precaution observed. Escape: successful. Recapture: gentle.

Milestones for the Record:
1. The patient is now officially free of the Limb Binders of Blood Consistency (compression socks) and
2. after presenting evidence from the highest scientific authority in the land (the pamphlet the doctor handed over) she has formally negotiated a sanctioned trip outside tomorrow.
3. Crafty has been given a small plant-based familiar (a lump of moss) to take care of in her room - see buffs/debuffs for more details.

The terms are agreed. The Captain has signed. Chaos Crew will be updated upon her safe return to port.

Krusher, allegedly awake

A new Spire revealed.
Word reached the Crafty of an origin to the tower said to climb forever, The Spire, and our hero, ever curious, set off to scale it. She climbed. And climbed. And looked up to find the hour had long fled and the Sleep Goblin had abandoned its post entirely. (Failed save vs. "just one more run" - but she knows how to play "Slay The Spire 1 AND 2" now!)

Beyond the walls.
Another genuine sortie outside the keep, no small feat for one still shaking the Curse of the Sundered Core. The gates opened, the hero ventured forth, and returned victorious. The map grows.

The Bazaar of Special Buys.
A supply run to the fabled merchant aisle, where a hundred shiny wares whispered buy me, buy me. Against all odds our hero made her Will save and walked past everything she wanted but did not need (a heroic feat in its own right).
Objective secured: fresh Linen of Blessing, free of charge, to replace the recalled and faintly cursed set.
Provisions claimed en route: one Donut of Restoration and a Potato Bake of Hearty Sustenance.
A long rest was required on return, but the expedition went very well. (Exhaustion: 1; morale: high.)

The fortress was besieged! A lumbering beast known only as the Ute (that's Australian for a pickup truck) charged the front gatehouse and struck the awning pillars, despite a full 50cm (uhhh 2 feet?) of clear ground between it and the curb. The columns mostly held; repairs pending.

The bedchamber has also been forever changed. With the new colourful linen laid out, the sleeping quarters are now aggressively cheery. Of greatest note: George, resident familiar, has formally ended his protest. He had been putting himself away in objection to the Great Bedroom Rearrangement, but the new layout has won him over. The party's morale familiar returns to active duty. (+1 to vibes.)

Treachery at the lolly stall. A bag of Fizzers was acquired in good faith, only for the hero to discover, too late, that every green one was missing. A merchant's con of the lowest order.

And so the realm rests, one day stronger..

The hero ventured beyond the keep walls today on a sanctioned enrichment expedition, the kind the Captain permits when the omens are gentle. The quest objectives were modest by decree: kick through the drifts of fallen gold (leaves, in the common tongue) and browse, strictly without purchasing, the towering shelves of the Brickmason's Guild and its hoard of tiny colourful bricks. A successful Perception check then turned up a side-chamber the maps had not promised; a glittering Wall of Whimsy, logged as a minor treasure-find. I find the patients morale much improved as a result.

Word also reached the Captain that a Great Wonder of Art and Construction, many moons in the secret forging, was at last completed by Crafty. Its nature remains under seal at the artificer's own request; the reveal will come to "chat" in its own time. For now the ledger simply marks it: one masterwork, finished at long last (Translation: Crafty completed a craft project she's been working on for months now - it's a secret that she'll share sooon).

Then, thus emboldened, the hero announced her next undertaking.

With Tailoring unproficient, the 'Hobbled' condition still very much in effect, and precisely zero ranks in 'Reading The Sacred Pattern', she has accepted a "simple" commission: one large garment, one tight deadline. The Captain's eyebrow has been raised to its maximum elevation and secured in place while he reviews these proceedings. Procurement begins tomorrow with an expedition to the Weaver's Market (A store named Spotlight), to retrieve the Pattern an arcane scroll she cannot yet decipher and the requisite reagents. The Deception check to justify all of this is still pending; the dice remain in the cup, although I believe her to be rolling with disadvantage (Translation: despite very rudimentary sewing skills, and having never read a sewing pattern before, Crafty has decided to take on a new project.. with a tight deadline).

But the headline of the day arrived by call on sending stone at 3 bell this afternoon. The High Chirurgeon (Craftys docter) delivered her verdict, and it was glowing: full marks across the board. Pain fully warded, all bodily systems reporting nominal, several of them running better than they did before the curse was lifted. On Thursday the full battle-dressing may be shed, though the steri-strip wards stay bound to the wound for 6 to 12 weeks yet, holding the Scar-marks at bay. The Chirurgeon further endorsed Captain "Should-You-Be-Doing-That???" by name, decreeing thus: no high-intensity feats, but walking and gentle movement carry her blessing; follow the body's own counsel, and take long rests without guilt.

We expect low Spoons for a couple of moons still. The body is doing tremendous unseen labour, healing and re-combobulating in the background, and such great working draws deeply on the reserves.

The party rests. The Captain watches the sewing situation very, very closely - eyebrow remaining raised.

Character update summary for this entry:

Treasure: Wall of Whimsy discovered (Perception success)
Crafting: 1 Great Working completed (sealed, reveal pending)
New quest accepted: The Simple Garment (deadline-bound; materials run tomorrow)
Pending roll: Deception vs Krusher, re: the sewing quest
Debuff pending removal: Battle-Dressing removed (Thursday)
New ward applied: Steri-Strip Enchantment (anti-Scar, 6 to 12 weeks)
Chirurgeon's decree: Gentle movement blessed, high-intensity feats forbidden, long rests encouraged
Spoons: running low, expected for roughly 2 more moons!

A momentous day at the keep, and, as fate would arrange it, one largely unsupervised.

Be thou frosting? (cos thou art uterly sweet on top)
The Baker Jammie presented the hero with a ceremonial confection: a vanilla cake, generously crowned in frosting (the hero's well-documented affinity, worth a standing +2 to Morale whenever in range), and upon its summit, rendered lovingly in pink icing, the sigil of the Sundered Core itself (a pink uterus) The vanquished organ, immortalised in buttercream. The hero approved, and the frosting did not survive the encounter (ok there's still a bit left but not much).

Allies, ho!
A party of friends made the long pilgrimage from the far reaches of the realm (the opposite side of the city, no small crossing) bearing a Hamper, a hand-assembled supply cache of considerable value. They arrived accompanied by a small, exceptionally high-energy familiar (a chaos-imp they spawned together). It is recorded for the avoidance of all doubt that the imp departed with its keepers at visit's end; the Hamper, mercifully, did not.

Water thee think of next?
In the realm of mischief, the Captain attempted a working of minor illusion before riding out, counselled in the dark arts by the ever-untrustworthy Mr Goosey. The scheme: to drain a sealed can of the dark fizzing elixir (Pepsi max, in the common tongue) and refill it with plain water through a hidden breach, that it might appear a sealed can of water had somehow been cracked open. The hero, presented with this impossible vessel, rolled Insight and failed spectacularly, declaring loudly to Captain Krusher - THIS IS WATER before finally noticing the stencilled message "You've just been Goosey'd" on the bottom.

Abandonment.
The Captain was summoned away beyond the borders of the known realm, out into the Great Beyond (I had to go onsite for work..), leaving the hero to her own devices for the duration. With no Captain to raise an eyebrow, the sewing situation is now, technically, unwatched. The party notes this with some alarm. Left to a solo vigil, the hero notes that she has finally also completed a great undertaking of her own: the entire Saga of the Fringe, every chapter, every volume, the full otherworldly chronicle, watched through to its end (Fringe TV Show.. again, it's pretty good!). Quest cleared.

The hero has completed 100% of this series of scrolls.

.. sorry I haven't been updating of late team.

Crafty is getting better but accidentally did too much and had to take a self-imposed bed day afterwards.

George decided he wasn't getting attention and decided to have his own tummy accident (some cut/infection) so had to go visit the vet and is now wearing the cone of shame (or basically, an amplifier for his purrs). He's going to be fine but he's not been super happy about how he can't just slide around corners without bonking into things.

Crafty is gonna be on here in the next day or so too as she has a bunch of things to share but I don't want to steal her limelight.

Captain Krusher signing off :)

Friday saw Crafty and Sageal escort George to the vet, and by all reports he was an absolute champion for them. He came home with an injection, cream for his sore, some oral medicine, freshly clipped nails, and the dreaded cone of shame.

George has thoughts about the cone, and the thoughts are not positive. He keeps getting himself wedged on basically everything: the door, the power points, you name it. The daily medicine and cream routine is also firmly on his list of grievances and he has sought fit to verbal express this a number of times.. About once an hour he gets up to pace the room, snags the cone on something, then tries to launch himself somewhere he very much does not fit, which means Crafty was constantly up and down settling him again. He is going to be perfectly fine, just a bit sore and a bit sooky for now.

The long-foretold trip to Spotlight finally happened, with a cheeky side quest to Bunnings. Alongside the materials for the Great Sewing Project, Crafty looted herself tiny Bunnings (think Australian Home Depot) bucket and a mini tool box, because obviously...

Saturday we headed to Sageal and Jammie's for a change of scenery and a proper rest day. Crafty: "I sat in what I was certain was a perfectly relaxing position; five hours later my body filed a strong objection and I was very sore. The on-call doctor for my surgeon handed down strict orders: back in bed, wedge pillows to incline the torso and raise the knees, and completely relax all the pelvic and hip muscles for the whole of Sunday. No pottering about the house, definitely no sewing, and not even a little enrichment walk. Boo!" And so we had rest day, take two.

Monday, the Great Sewing Project officially commenced, and Crafty very quickly discovered there are wayyyy more steps before you even get near cutting fabric and sewing. Crafty: "The outlook on timely (or correct) completion is, let us say, questionable. So far it has necessitated two more trips to the craft store, two more online orders, and one 3D print job."

Progress for the day: pattern cut out, fabric edges secured, and the pre-wash underway (those are kind of quests right?)

Then came a proper crafting buddies day with pink (zPinkCloudz one of Crafty's first Twitch friends we made). She arrived bearing donuts, we hit two craft stores, some crafting got done, but mostly I yapped for hours. We also got dumplings, which I will declare a NAT 20 counting as a critical success (despite some earlier misses aka - having to wait for about an hour and a half for food).

Lastly today:

Crafty: Progress, genuinely! I cut the material for a test sew using old sheets, so I can make sure I am doing this right before I take the scissors anywhere near the actual fabric. Measure twice, cut once, and ideally try not to cry.

More soon, and I'm giving George a gentle, cone-free pat in spirit for you all.